We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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