My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
