I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
