you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
