you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
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like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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