i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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