he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
