There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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