Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
