I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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