But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
