i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
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Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
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It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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