We won't sleep together?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize