the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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