i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
