I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
