Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
