it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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