Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize