When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
