bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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