im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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