Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
