____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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