did you get engaged???
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
