I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Its about making memories worth repressing
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
