every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You're like the curious george of whores
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
