We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
