I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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