there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Mom said you looked used
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
