she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
