My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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