I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
