ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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