Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I love having hate sex.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
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I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
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You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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