i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
