yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I would ride that face into the sunset
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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