yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
