I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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