wrigley field is MILF paradise
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Randomize
