He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
