I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
