I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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