So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
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as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
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You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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