i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
