you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize