Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
