Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize