Already got asked if we're dating
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
