I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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