physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
