My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
