I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize