So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize