I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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